Here’s What It’s Like To Hang Out With Billionaires
And what I've figured out about their lives.
We’re fascinated by billionaires. They make headlines every day. Forbes publishes an annual list to celebrate them, and Bloomberg tracks their wealth in real-time.
Well, I have a confession to make. I am not a billionaire. But for some reason, I always seem to find myself hanging out with them.
Take the time I was in Newport, waiting in front of a restaurant for a friend, and the former ambassador to Spain, George Argyros, suddenly appeared next to me.
Billionaires are sneaky like that.
Contrary to popular belief, billionaires do not levitate, nor do they radiate a Jesus-like glow. In reality, they look rather normal. George looks a lot like Mr. Ross, my high school Algebra teacher—but with a better suit.
I thought about approaching him and introducing myself, but, just like when I was single and spotted a beautiful girl at the bar, I couldn’t think of a good opening line.
I contemplated saying something like, “Hello, Ambassador Argyros, my name is Brian Lund, and I’m a big fan of your implementation of the Treaty of Talacaloco.”
But that just seemed forced. Instead, I stood there in awkward silence until my friend arrived.
Inside the restaurant, as fate would have it, George sat at the table next to mine. I gave him that knowing look that only two people with a shared history can understand, but he pretended not to see me.
I think he was eating a ham sandwich. Possibly with mustard.
George is a nice guy, but I don’t think I’ll hang out with him again. He’s a little boring, and besides, he’s only worth a couple billion.
John Arnold, the wunderkind natural gas trader—formerly of Enron—is the youngest billionaire I’ve hung out with.
It was at a club in Houston. I was with my brother-in-law and his friends, all former Enron traders as well. John was in the VIP section but sent a bottle over to our table.
Later, while waiting in line for the restroom, he and his security team passed by me on their way to the exit. I was a little lit at that point and yelled, “Johnny Baaaaby! The Grey Goose was the BOMB! You the MAN!”
In retrospect, I probably should have asked where he thought natural gas prices were heading.
Some of the billionaires I’ve met are more interesting than others.
Henri Samueli and Henry Nicholas were co-founders of Broadcom, and when I hung with them in the 90s, they were each worth a cool $10 billion.
Back then I owned a company that coordinated projects for interior designers, and we were hired by the designer who was decorating their respective homes.
One day at Samueli’s house, while standing in the driveway, he drove right past me into the garage. I waved to him, and he waved back—although his windows were tinted, so I can’t be 100% sure.
Nicholas and I used to chat a lot. Once, while walking his house with the designer, he emerged from his workout room holding a couple of bottles of water.
“Would you like one?” he asked as he strode by.
“No, thanks,” I said.
“Okay, suit yourself.”
He was always saying crazy things like that.
Even though they were partners at the same company, Henri and Henry had slightly different personalities.
For example, Samueli built a multi-lot, modern house right on the water, whereas Nicholas erected a massive Tudor-style home high on a hill with a sex dungeon underneath.
Samueli used to host parties where captains of industry would get together and raise money for charity. Nicholas used to host orgies where he furnished strippers and prostitutes for guests.
Samueli bought the Anaheim Ducks, and Nicholas bought a warehouse and filled it with cocaine and ecstasy. Neither of them invited me to their parties, but my guess is that the ones at Nicholas’ house were more fun.
Donald Bren is the wealthiest billionaire nobody outside of Southern California knows. He made his money in real estate and could buy a more well-known Donald billionaire three times over, and still have enough left to buy a couple of down-market NBA teams—and the whole WNBA.
We met at Bloomingdale’s one day about ten years ago while I was looking for a scarf for my mother.
Donny (as I like to call him) was being waited on while his assistants busily conducted business on their cell phones. I was standing behind him and noticed that he was purchasing a very nice lady’s handbag, I’m sure for his wife.
When the saleslady took it to be wrapped, there was a pause in the action, so I leaned over and said, “Nice choice.” He was about to engage me in deep conversation, but his associates were jealous and quickly formed a semi-circle between him and me.
No big deal. I really didn’t like the handbag anyway.
As you can probably tell, I too am fascinated by billionaires. When I was younger, teachers and parents told me I was very smart, so naturally, I assumed that someday I would become one as well.
However, as I got older, I realized that I was often doing things that were not conducive to becoming a billionaire.
Like spending a whole Christmas break sitting on my couch, drinking beer, and playing Super Mario Bros with my roommates. Chances are, not many billionaires have done that.
Or closing down a bar with my buddies on a Sunday night. Sometimes I wondered if any future billionaires were doing the same thing as me at that moment? I doubt it.
Sleeping in on the weekends was something I did a lot of in my teens and twenties. As I lay there, warm and toasty, wrapped up in my comforter, sometimes—okay, often—nursing a hangover, it would occur to me that billionaires were already hard at work.
As time went by, it became clear to me that I did not have what it takes to become a billionaire. So, I accepted my fate and got on with my non-billionaire life. And for many years, I forgot about being a billionaire. Instead, I settled down, got married, and started a family.
Then something funny happened. I once again began to think about what it would be like to be a billionaire.
When there was a storm outside—and my frightened kids jumped in bed with my wife and me—I thought about being a billionaire, and how if I was one, I probably wouldn’t have been there to experience the moment?
Throughout the school year, I often thought about being a billionaire and how many times I would have been on my private plane en route to a high-powered negotiation, or in a five-star hotel suite getting ready for a board meeting, instead of attending my kid’s school plays, or sporting events.
During a lazy summer vacation with the family, spent driving up the coast, hiking through the redwoods, and camping out under the stars, I often thought, "There’s no way a billionaire would have time to do this."
And so it occurs to me: I may be smart, but I’ll never be a billionaire. Probably not even a 100-millionaire. But I’ve got the life I want, the one that’s right for me. And you can’t put a price on that.
Read more stories from The Anecdote.
Stuck the landing. Great job!
I know several well. The ones I know that started with little and made it are super interesting. They never stop working, thinking.
When we asked one "What are you doing these days?" He said, "My wife and I went out for a burger and a movie. We could always get the burger but never the movie. So, I am making movies now targeted to people who don't want a lot of sex, violence, or bad language in their movies."
I love the way they can take apart issues, figure out what's important and then put together a plan of action to attack it. They all understand failure and aren't afraid of it. The ones I know are also incredibly charitable. Not just buy someone dinner charitable, but endow a museum or hospital charitable. The Democrats attack them but they aren't actually attacking them. They don't like the ones that aren't giving money to them.
One I knew Marc Rubin is from CA and you might be familiar with him. He built the Inland Empire. Survived the Holocaust. Came to the US with nothing. Told me he doesn't use attorneys because if I can't trust you, why would I do a deal with you? He has passed away but was a kind and gentle spirit. His wife is one of the most wonderful women you'd ever want to meet, and so are his children. I saw her last November.
I met Richard Duchossois and we became friends in his 90s. The very first time I met him for lunch, at the end of the lunch I asked him if I could be his coffee boy for two weeks. He said, "Why would you want to do that?" I said, "I have learned so much just sitting here having lunch with you that I can't imagine what I would learn in two weeks learning from you." He was truly a special man.
Trading is not a great way to be a billionaire. Building a business is.
I won't ever be a billionaire because I didn't take the right risks early and didn't prepare myself the way I needed to prepare myself to be one. I also won't be because I don't have the drive right now to do it.